I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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