I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize