there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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