Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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