Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The beers last night were like the tears from god
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
