You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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