cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
