Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
