before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
