Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
