Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
