Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
