He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
