I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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