i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
