used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
