okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
