And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
