I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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