is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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