I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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