Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I yelled at your uterus for you.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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