I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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