Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
