I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
