Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
