I cannot find my penis.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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