yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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