I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Me. At least after what I've been through.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
