I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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