no, he came in my armpit
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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