Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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