my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
