I wannas sexs uuuuu
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
