508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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