She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
