Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
