piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
You smell like stripper and shame
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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