I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
