I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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