we have officially lost it.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
