apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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