I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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