Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
