I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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