Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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