and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
