Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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