I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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