Who wears a wallet chain?!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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