Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
