So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
