I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
