i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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