I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
