Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
