i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize