Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to have your abortion
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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