Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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