those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
It's rum buckets o'clock
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
