your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
