Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
