The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
