I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
