Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
