You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
