Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
