I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
