her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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