How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
