the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
