We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize