Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
someone owes me an orgasm
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
