Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
