I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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