when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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