Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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