Acid is not a monday night drug
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
